Guillotine
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Drac Von Stoller
Copyright 2011 by: Drac Von Stoller
"Come one come all to the greatest show on Earth," says the ringmaster of the "Circus of Horrors." Every Halloween the town of Deadsville holds their annual "Circus of Horrors" that brings in tourist's from all over the world. This was the only real money maker for the town of Deadsville. Deadsville had one post office, one church, one store, etc., so there wasn't very much excitement in this little town. Though the town of Deadsville wasn't totally dead, hence the name. Just like everything this world has to offer in everyday life. Things can get rather boring unless you can think up new ideas that will stand out to make the tourist's want more. Deadsville's "Circus of Horrors" attendance was dwindling away because of no new exciting attractions, till one day when an old eccentric man pulled up in a dusty old van and asked to see the ringmaster of the "Circus of Horrors."
The ringmaster said, "What do you want from me old man? Can't you see I'm busy right now and don't have time to be messing around this place. This better not be a waste of my time. What is it you want to show me old man."
"Come here and I'll show you. I promise you won’t be disappointed,” said the excited old man. The ringmaster followed the old man to his van to see what he was raving about. The old man opened the back door of the van and the old man said "What do you think?" The ring master replied "looks like some wooden piece of furniture. You mean to tell me you interrupted my busy work schedule for this. I should have you thrown out of my circus right now."
The old man yelled, "Wait! Don't leave yet, you haven't seen what this wooden structure you call a piece of furniture is. Just bear with me for just another minute and I promise you won’t be disappointed."
"Well alright, make it snappy, I haven't got all day," said an angry ringmaster.
"Would you believe it if I told you this will be the best main attraction at your circus by far," said the old man.
"You've got to be kidding.” replied the ringmaster.
"First, get a couple strong men to help me get it out of the van and I will tell you all about it," exclaimed the old man.
"Look, if this is some kind of joke, you're going to be in a lot of trouble old man," said an angry ring master. The ringmaster got two of his strongest men Hector and Ugo to pull the heavy piece of wood structure out of the van." Ugo said, "Where do you want us to put it?" The ringmaster replied, "Bring it inside the tent behind you and we'll let the old man tell us why this piece of wood is going to be our main attraction this Halloween."
The old man said, "Ok, are you ready ringmaster?"
"I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be, you've only wasted about an hour of my time, what's a few more minutes," said a frustrated ringmaster.
The old man removed the cover from the wooden structure and said, "What do you think?"
The ringmaster laughed, "It's just a "guillotine," I was expecting something better than this. I think you need to leave so I can get back to work."
The old man being frustrated with the ringmaster said, "I'm sorry that you feel that I've wasted your time and I see you're upset at me, but let me tell you about why this "guillotine" will be the main attraction and money maker for your "Circus of Horrors." This is no ordinary guillotine. This guillotine is from the mid-evil times and is the only one of its kind in existence, which makes this a rare find and the fact that it’s been used at every famous execution. There's more." "I'm listening old man, said the ringmaster with his arms folded together."
"With this guillotine you get your own executioner," said the old man.
"Where, I don't see any executioner," laughed the ringmaster.
"Oh, but you will. Could I have a word with you alone?" said the old man.
"Ok, Hector and Ugo, Come back in about twenty minutes?" replied the ringmaster.
"Ok, old man, we're alone let’s hear it," said the ringmaster with anger in his eyes.
The old man handed the ringmaster an envelope. "What's this," said the ringmaster.
"Open the envelope and read what it says to me?" said the old man.
"Whoever says the incantation aloud as written in this letter word for word will receive an abundance of wealth. In order to receive an abundance of wealth, you must fulfill the Executioners demands. If not the executioner will have your head," said the old man.
The ringmaster said with an excited look on his face, "What do I got to lose, just my head," as he laughed out loud. The old man said in a serious voice, "Go ahead and read the incantation and your life will be filled with riches beyond your wildest dreams."
As the ringmaster was reading the incantation aloud, something strange was happening. The tent was filled with a fog of smoke and within minutes the fog cleared and the executioner appeared next to the guillotine.
"Who summons me?” said the tall, two hundred and fifty pound executioner, with a black hood over his head with blazing red eyes, peering from the holes cut out from the mask.
"It is I," said the fearless ringmaster.
As the ringmaster turned to ask the old man what's next, the old man was already in his van with the key in the ignition ready to drive off. The ringmaster ran out of the tent yelling "What's next, what's next old man." As the ringmaster was running behind the old man's van asking him what to do, the old man stuck his head out of the window of the van and said, "The executioner will tell you, the executioner will tell." Then the van sped off down the dirt road leaving the ringmaster bent over with his hands on his knees gasping for breath. The ringmaster walked back to the tent to ask the executioner what his plans were and when he would receive this abundance of wealth.
The executioner's response was "You will not receive any money until my demands are met."
"Ok, let’s get on with it," said the ringmaster with greed in his eyes.
"First thing you need to do is search out people that are loners and tell them they will be part of the main attraction at the "Circus of Horrors," and also, tell them they will be rewarded for their participation with the act, said the executioner with a deep eerie voice."
"Sounds pretty easy to me, I'll just tell Ugo and Hector to start rounding up some loners and let the money roll in, said the ringmaster."
"Not so fast, you and only you are to bring in these loner's. If I find out that you haven't lived up to our agreement. I'm sure that my guillotine and I can come up with something, if you know what I mean, said the executioner." Then the executioner released the rope to the guillotine and the blade came down on the melon that he placed where the head goes and the blade cut right through it as the executioner was laughing.
"You have one hour to bring in someone for the main attraction,” said the executioner.
The ringmaster left the tent and got into his car, drove to the local tavern to bring in someone for the main attraction. The ringmaster found an old drunk man sitting in the dark corner of the tavern passed out from one too many drinks. The ringmaster said, "This old man will do just fine."
The ringmaster tapped the old man on his shoulder and the old man raised his head up off the table and started mumbling and lowered his head back down on the table and started snoring. The ringmaster said eagerly, "Looks like it's going to take more than a tap on the shoulder to wake up this old drunk man." The ringmaster got a pitcher of beer in one hand and a pitcher of ice cold water in the other hand and placed them both down on the table. The ringmaster picked up the ice cold water and poured it over the top of the old man's head. The old man looked up at the ringmaster and in a slurred voice said, "Why did you do that?"
The ringmaster replied, "Because, I've got some good news for you and I bought a pitcher of beer just for you. You will be the main attraction at my "Circus of Horrors." Don't worry you'll get paid for your participatio
n, so you can buy lots of beer.
"Wow! That sounds like an offer I can't refuse,” said the old drunken man.
"Ok, old man do we have a deal or not?" replied the greedy ringmaster.
"You bet we do," belched the old man.
"Drink up and I'll drive you to my "Circus of Horrors," said the money hungry ringmaster.
It only took the old man about five minutes and a few belches in between and they were on their way to the first show of the main attraction (The Guillotine). When they arrived at the circus, the ringmaster had to get Ugo and Hector to bring the old drunk man into the tent for the main attraction. Hector and Ugo placed the old man's body on the guillotine and gave him a few more sips of beer then the old man passed out drunk. Mobs of curious people at the circus flocked to the tent with their tickets to get the thrill of their lives. It was standing room only. The ringmaster announced the main attraction the "Guillotine." Then with a drum role and every ones heart pounding with excitement, the executioner released the rope holding the blade way above the old man’s head and within seconds the old man’s head rolled into the bucket. The executioner pulled down a lever and the old man’s torso went down into the fiery pit of Hades. The executioner picked the old man’s head out of the bucket to show the puzzled onlookers. Some ran out of the tent screaming while others were scratching their heads in disbelief that this could be real. The ringmaster reassured the crowd that its part of the act and not to worry, it’s just an illusion. The ringmaster thanked everyone for coming to see the main attraction and to make sure to come see the show again and tell your friends the "Circus of Horrors" lasts throughout the month of October.
After about a week’s run of the main attraction, the ringmaster started to question the executioner where all the people that were used in the "Guillotine" had gone. The executioners’ response was, "Let’s just say they let the act go to their heads, said a laughing executioner.
"Executioner, I'm getting a little tired of this act and besides I do believe we had an agreement, that if I met your demands I would be rewarded with great wealth, but I'm beginning to think it’s all just a lie," said a frustrated ringmaster. The executioner replied, "You will be rewarded as soon as the complete run of the main attraction is complete. The main attraction ends at the stroke of midnight on Halloween day. The Guillotine and I will vanish and a brief case full of $1,000 dollar bills will be yours for services rendered. How does that sound to you ringmaster."
"Well, if you put it that way, I guess the wait isn't so bad after all, said the ringmaster.
The ringmaster was being used to bring people to the executioner for his pleasure of cutting their heads off and sending the rest of their bodies to Hades, the lake of fire.
Finally, October 31st came it was the last day of the main attraction. The ringmaster was tired from searching day after day for people that wouldn't be missed if they were gone for a very long extended period of time. The ringmaster checked his watch and said to himself, "Just three more hours and I'll be the wealthiest man in this town and won't have to worry about a thing.” The ringmasters dreams were about to vanish as fast as they entered his mind. The ringmaster checked his watch and said to the executioner, "I am so excited to receive this wealth you are about to give me. I'm just at a loss of words." The executioner laughed under his breath saying, "A loss of words isn't the only thing you'll be losing, your head too." The executioner placed the briefcase on top of the bucket where the severed head drops into and said, "Ringmaster you've done a fine job for me, now it’s time to get what’s coming to you." The ringmaster put one knee on the guillotine and the executioner said, "Why don't you lie down on the guillotine and open the briefcase so we both can see all that money." Like a dummy the ringmaster lay down on the guillotine and just as the ringmaster popped the other latch to open the briefcase to see what he thought would encase a wealth beyond his imagination. The executioner released the rope holding the guillotine's blade stationary and before the ringmaster had a chance to get out of harms’ way his head rolled off of the briefcase onto the floor. The executioner was laughing hysterically, calling the ringmaster a fool then the executioner pulled the lever down sending the ringmasters body into Hades the lake of fire. The executioner opened the briefcase and picked up the ringmasters head and said, "Look ringmaster there's no money, what a silly fool to believe an executioner could grant a wish.
The executioner and his guillotine vanished into thin air and the entrance to Hades was sealed until the next fool comes along to do his bidding. The ringmaster had no idea the executioner and the old man were in this little scheme together. The old man wasn't really an old man. He was Satan doing what he does best to deceive people and taking their souls to be stored in the lake of fire Hades forever. The moral to the story is if it’s too good to be true, then it is.